Hypnotherapy & NLP Tel: 086 1038892 » Grief

Miscarriage and Grief

Zita — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 09:34:43 +0000

You will never forget the pain of your miscarriage. I know because it happened to me – twice. I did go on to have three healthy, happy children but I still think about my little angels on the days I lost them and when their due dates would have been. But time is a great healer. Time is a great healer. When you are losing or have lost your baby, the way you are treated by hospital staff, friends, relatives becomes so clear – you think woman will be sympathetic but from dealing with (in my first experience) a midwife and doctor (both females) who (a) told me I was never pregnant (!), I lost my baby at 12 weeks and (b) I was imaging what I passed (when I said I had passed what to me looked like some kind of crustacean and had flushed away before thinking I should have kept that. These people may be dealing with miscarriage everyday, I was not. My baby (babies) was wished for and I saw my future, my family, wondering if the baby would be a boy or girl. All my dreams and hopes were dashed away. In the middle of this, I did deal with a very nice male doctor who was very gentle and sympathetic, no platitudes. You need time to grieve – to get angry, to cry yourself to sleep. You have suffered a loss and no-one can understand the way you feel. But let your partner be strong for you. Don’t think he doesn’t feel what you feel, it is different for men and let him do what he knows is best – taking care of you. Why am I writing this today – because this day 10 years ago I lost my first baby.

Miscarriage: Hypnosis to help you through the grieving process

Zita — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 11:44:24 +0000

No matter what stage of your pregnancy or how the loss comes about, you cannot underestimate the devastation you will feel. If you were unsure of your feelings about being pregnant, losing your baby will instil guilt feelings – did you somehow make it happen? If your baby was longed for, the feelings of loss followed by anger will make you feel as though you can never recover from such a loss. No-one will ever understand how you feel, even other women who have such a loss can feel your pain, no-one will suffer as you do. You feel betrayed by your body, you go over every little detail to blame yourself and you tend to such others out. Your loss is about the loss of the future you had planned, the image of your family you had envisioned. Don’t deny your pain, feel your emotions. While grieving, you may experience bouts that seem like depression, it is still part of the grieving process. You cannot underestimate the loss of your baby and remember two of you have suffered a loss. Many times the father has to be strong for you and his grief will be different to yours. But it does get better. If you feel your loss is somehow static and you feel yourself looping and staying more “down” then think about hypnosis. Hypnosis (a relaxation) can provide you with the ability to come out of the darkness (when you feel ready and just as an extra push). You know the loss of your baby (or babies) will be with you, it becomes part of you, but you can come through the other side. From my personal experience, after two miscarriages, I went on to have three healthy and happy children but I still remember the dates I lost my first babies and what their due dates would have been. It doesn’t matter how logical and well meaning others try to be – “it’s nature’s way” etc. You have lost your baby and grieving is no less important that if the child had already been born. But keep in mind that you don’t have suffer and be in pain forever. You may have other children or you may want to have a family then you need to get back to former self with joy and love to give and I can help you get there or be just someone who will not offer platitudes when you just want to cry and grieve and let all the emotions of anger, upset, fears out for your unborn baby. Call me on 086 1038892 or email zita@zitastanley.com. Appointments in Baggot Street, Dublin 2, Limerick

Grief & Bereavement: Hypnotherapy to ease your pain

Zita — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 09:07:40 +0000

When we lose someone through death or the ending of a relationship, there is a period where we need to grieve. The grieving is for what is lost and your dreams and hopes being taken away from you. This is a natural journey and therapeutic in the long run. But if you find that you are stuck in the grieving cycle and are actually feeling worse rather than better, it could very well be an emotional reason for your inability to move on. Perhaps you didn’t get to say goodbye and feel robbed of that opportunity or have a loss of self because you couldn’t see the end coming and why the relationship had to end (a case how two people could feel so differently). Your mind is looping the grief reaction and with hypnotherapy you can learn to move on easily and gently by discovering what the subconscious hold was for you. Why you feel the need to continuing in your grief. Or if guilt is attached to your grief, this can be uncovered. You can never underestimate the power of guilt to keep you feeling miserable and in a dark place. Hypnotherapy is designed to work quickly and effectively – remember the conscious mind is not involved, it is the subconscious mind. Your hurt is subconscious and it makes sense that the only way to release you of your grief is by accessing the subconscious and uncovering why you need to continue grieving. Call me on 086 1038892 or email zita@zitastanley.com. Offices Baggot Street, Portlaoise and Limerick